I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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