I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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