this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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