Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
