East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize