somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
