i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize