the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
