I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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