on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
