u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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