So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
