eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
