never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
