Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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