So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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