we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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