This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
