Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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