Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
