so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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