yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
