So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
