I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
