Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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