Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
