so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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