How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
