Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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