dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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