Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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