she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
