help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
