You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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