I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
