I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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