I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
