he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You did what with his pubic hair?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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