I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
