Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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