My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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