I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
