Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
