I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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