There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he thought i was a dude.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
