Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
