I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
