You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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