when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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