i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
