I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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