YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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