I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
