And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
