your room smells of hookers.
And success
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
