Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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