So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
