i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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