i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
