why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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