Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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