It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
